Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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