Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
