p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
