The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
