I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
