GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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