I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
