I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
