1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
now i know why i became what i already was.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
