I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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