i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
