I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
