Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
