ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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