i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And then my night got REAL pukey
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
