Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
