as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My ass is underappreciated
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
