how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
