They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
