Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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