She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
