I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
