can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
