Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
