I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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