So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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