did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
