I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
