i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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