u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dignity is for republicans.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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