i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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