so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
