Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
