I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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