You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
