Jerry, you need to find god
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
