That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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