Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
