it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
