thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
