i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
