you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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