All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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