If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
