playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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