Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i think i just lost a toe
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
