I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
