I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
