Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need to align my fucking chakras
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