I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I didn't notice because vodka
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
