I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Alive.
So much puke
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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