fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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