I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
