Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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