idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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