why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
