Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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